How to be charming / How to charm the guy you like

(Saved as draft and finally edited and posted when sober. Lol)

Seriouslyyyyy, I really should be sleeping at this hour! It's 5.49am! But duhz I always have tons of thoughts running about after my drinks and just about when I go to bed. Alright, this will be a super short entry.

Recently, I have been hearing tons of ...kinda breaking news...no matter by ear or through my FB. Forgive me if my sentences arent coherent whatsover, because I'm lazy to check. But ya really, recently all our friends or friends' spouses are having affairs! It's most disconcerting!!
So I'm really feeling bad about my friends' plights. But perhaps I shouldnt talk much about their stuff, However I really wish to address some MISCONCEPTIONS that ladies HAVE with guys!

Of course I cant be 100% correct but hmmm.....based on my happy marriage and many guy friends who are very truthful to me, I guess I have the naked truth, somehow. Side note, I have great friendships with guy friends who are single, attached, married, married with kids, married with kids and mistress etc, SO, while I dont wish to judge much, I kinda know why and how SUCH things happen.

Ok, for a START, we have to clear some misconceptions that ladies have with guys; they only care about LOOKS.

That's really not true. I can assure you I'm probably one of the least good-looking among my group of friends but frankly speaking, I really have many friends falling for me. Which really beats me sometime and they drove some girls to the peak of jealousy. Frankly speaking, I can understand, lol. Because I really do look mediocre. When I was young, I was so inferior that I dont even wish to take pictures with my gorgeous girlfriends because of my inferiority complex, And everytime a mutual guy friend woo me or confess to me, I will always suspect he has other ulterior motives, for e.g, want to borrow money from me or wanna f me etc, HAHAHA, but I realized it's not! It's really about the personality I guess, that they're comfortable with me, happy around me, can talk to me about anything etc. I guess chemistry is hard to explain sometimes but I really feel it's not all about looks.

Alright, of course I meant the majority and not all guys. Some guys do always go for looks. But I feel, so long so you have,,,
1) Reasonable Skin condition/complexion (not too many pimples etc)
2) Reasonable Weight/height (not fat or skinny)
3) Reasonable teeth (not overly protruding)
4) NO bad smell
5) Dress reasonably well with basic makeup

I think you stand absolutely equal chance with people who are gorgeous with no great personality like yours. So hey, if you're not a stunner, we have our market! Woohoo!


But while we're at the topic of personality here, personality is really so important. And of course, the way you carry yourself. Your personal, unique kind of charm or X factor as we called it; which make you irresistible to guys.

I have many friends who really try very hard to get a boyfriend but really, sometimes, the more you try, the more it don't come. And...everytime I see them scaring off potential suitors right infront of me and I think I know exactly why. I'm hardly in the position to comment anything unless I'm super duper close with the girl...as you know, such things are very sensitive.


SO... how to be charming OR how to charm the guy you like

1) Don't be too desperate about guys, or getting attached/hitched

2) Don't be overly flirtatious infront of them, as in flirt with them one second and flirt with another guy right infront of them the next minute. Especially their guy friends.

3) Don't be boastful of how many admirers you have and how guys are crazy about you.

4) Don't be a please-ser or doormat. Have your own views, don't wow at everything he said, and say "anything" to every question

5) Don't express that you're crazy about him even if you are

6) Don't badmouth your mutual friends (if you need too, say super indirectly in a joking tone)

7) Don't go into details about your exes or how you broke up and getting all emotional about it

8) Don't share your work/family/watever problems too excessively that it becomes a tiresome and stressful chore to hangout with you (you can share some but keep it within 10mins and end off naturally)

9) Don't chatter your head off
10) Don't be too quiet/shy either

11) Don't let your guy be the center of your universe; if he doesnt get around to ask you out, you can ask him out too but don't sit around and wait for him to reply/confirm. If he haven confirm after say....3 or 5 hours(depending on how much you like him, haha), please go ahead and make other plans, like meet other friends etc.  Even if he after that replied that he can make it, just say you had made other plans already as his reply was very late. And don't ask him out again already until he asks you again. Guys like a challenge, need to bait them sometimes.

12) Don't let the current guy you're seeing right now KNOW that you're meeting OTHER guys right after meeting him. It may be just a supper with another Guy B after movie with Guy A but no.....dont let them know

13) Don't try too hard, in anything. Don't try too hard to impress, whether in dressing, speaking. Just be natural.

14) Don't insists on having answers if he gets evasive about things
15) Don't answer anything he asks - leave some room for mystery

16) Don't be stingy with your charms; Dress nicely according to occasion, draw attention to yourself in a natural way, charm the waiter naturally too(Not any guy who crosses your path, just people whom you need to speak to, like the waiter etc). He'll feel proud to be the one beside you when he sees other guys admiring you.

17) Even if you're aware of the effect you're having on him or other strangers, act as if you don't know.

18) Share happy news. Just anything, even if it's about your friends. It should come naturally though

19) Give constructive comments if he's saying something about his work or problems. Give encouragement.

20) Listen intently. Don't interrupt. No malice or vulgarities.

21) Share positive comments as well as negative comments(in a nice tone and not condescending manner)

22) If you're really interested in Guy A, show slight partiality over him than all the guys. But still be moderately friendly with his friends; you need to blend in without looking as if you may be interested in his friends.

23) If you're not particularly interested in any one guy or you're just "looking over", then be impartial to all, don't show favoritism.

24) Some body contact is okie but make it swift, below 3 seconds, like touching his arm, laying your hand on his thigh, removing a stray strand off his forehead or a lint off his shirt, wiping his sweat off with a tissue etc. Don'ttttt cling to him like a jellyfish or touch all over him as if you're horny.

25) It's generally okie to drink moderately; it loosen your inhibitions but DON'T ever get drunk infront of them

26) Only when you're slightly tipsy, then you can be slightly noti and flirty(don't do it when you're both very sober). Slightly noti as in pinching/touching his nose, face inched closer to him while talking, whisper in his ear/accidentally touching his ears with your lips while whispering, giving sultry stares, pouting your lips, slurring or purring just abit etc... (Fyi...I'm "auto" like this whenever I'm tipsy, I don't purposely become/act like that. Well I guess all tipsy people are like that lah. Zzz anyway)

27) Generally, the more topics you know, the more knowledgeable you are, the quicker your mind turns, the EASIER it is for you to engage conversation with anyone. So read up.

28) Everyone loves a humorous person, I probably can't teach you to be funny and witty...maybe you can try to watch more comedies

29) Express genuine admiration if he really did impress you in some areas but be daring enough to give your side of view if you do not agree on somethings he said. Don't quarrel or insists too much though.

30) Say...if he fetches you home in a cab after some drinks and you're tipsy, you can lean your head against his arm and try to sleep. That's it. Don't do anything else. If he's interested in you, he will lift that arm and slide his arm over your shoulder and let you lie against his chest...hold your hand..and kiss your hair/forehead/lips etc. But please, don't follow him home or let him come to yours if he's not yet your official boyfriend. If he did not do anything then well, move on. If he touches your thigh, SLAP him, THEN move on.


ULTIMATE GOLDEN RULE

Obviously and lastly, don't go to his house and sleep with him UNTIL he's your boyfriend officially. DON'T ever go his house or let him come to yours no matter what reason he claims.

I have a gf who always sleep with the guy she likes on the FIRST date.
She is either - never gets around to become the official girlfriend OR she gets 2-timed eventually in a short period of time OR she gets jilted by the guy.

A guy will assume you're a loose woman and won't treasure you if you sleep with him on the first date.

10 signs to recognize the "very nice" bitch

Mars Vs Venus 2 - Toggle (新加坡女人超会算计)

This episode is SUPER ENLIGHTENING... Especially empathize with 黄嫊芳(Lina Ng)about her plight and how she was victimized because I can totally relate.

Please please please WATCH the above episode FIRST, THEN you can understand the things I'm going to say later on.

I think our personality are pretty similar. Even our 台词 sounds almost the same. The “生不如死”，"直和真", “大喇喇”. I guess you can NEVER understand our agony unless you had been victimized the same way. And the hurt when you feel that your good friends were being manipulated by the bitch(initially you wont know what happened, you'll just feel puzzled why somethings seemed to change between you and your usual good friends in the group). For 黄嫊芳's case, her good friends are 权怡凤 (Quan Yi Feng) and 王禄江 (Bryan Wong). It's only YEARS after then the truth revealed itself. I guess I'm slightly better...I took few months.... But still.........pretty stupid lah, didnt see it coming and by then it was too late. Although I'm still very glad 黄嫊芳 is able to revive her friendships, not all friendships can be revived.

Gooo watch, it's super funny too, Mars Vs Venus 2 - Toggle (新加坡女人超会算计)


The lady who had victimized 黄嫊芳 should be 欧菁仙(Sharon Au)...they used to be a team in 城人杂志(CityBeat)...never thought she is this kind of person...Gross!



If you're soooo curious about who's the other bitch who snatched and SLEPT with 权怡凤 (Quan Yi Feng)'s then-boyfriend, I was pretty kpo and found out the 林小姐 is 林惠婵。I re-watched and matched it with 黄嫊芳's lip-shape, and I confirmed!

Remember? The short-haired lady on the right in red





Figure quite good and look pretty sweet one.

Bitches dont have the word scrawled across their forehead.



Here are some signs and symptoms which I've sadly accumulated from a decade of bad experiences. I dont admit being...stupid...I can only say I'm very easily blinded with friendship and especially when people treats me very well on the surface. Ok fine la...sometimes I'm quite 白痴 also....But well...dont say I dont warn you....beware these signs before it's too late. Like me, I've discovered too late.


10 signs to recognize the "very nice" bitch


1) They act like 2 different person infront and back of you
Perhaps very proper and shy infront of, but actually very flirty and initiative behind you.

2) They act like they treat you very nice infront of all people but talks shit behind you when you are not around.

3) There are unusual and weird outbursts at you which are totally not their normal "nice" selves when you're both alone

For example, suddenly shout at you or give you a hateful expression. Because sometimes if a person have to act that they like you and be nice to you all the time, there are times when they show their TRUE selves(that they actually hate you to the core).

4) They actively try to know your friends but will never introduce you their friends even when the friends are right infront of you.

It's not that we want to know their friends, but showing such attitude means this bitch is very domineering with her friends and loves only attention on her.
Generally, there will always be shy OR friendly people. Shy people hesitate to know new people and dont really do introductions WHILE friendly people simply do the opposite. It cant be 2 different extremes just because it's with YOUR friends and HER friends.

If she's very friendly to YOUR friends but dont even mention your name to HER friends who are around, it means she is an attention whore and you need to be careful.

5) she will insists that she is not interested in your guy friends at all but yet ask all your guy friends' for their numbers and initiate to ask them out alone without asking you nor telling you.
Or they will ask the guy out with an UGLIER girlfriend of THEIRS. But nope, will never ask you EVEN though they know that guy THROUGH you.

6) instead of accompanying you to the toilet when you're tipsy, you will come back and see their hand on your beau's arm. No, they're not tipsy, at all.

7) she treats you very nice, almost too nice, which is not like any normal people will do. When someone gets overly nice, she probably has an agenda.

My example, I mentioned I like a kind of candy, she buys me that EVERYTIME we meet. Once she quietly disappeared for 15minutes then come back with that candy and told everyone she walked 500m to buy that for me. Seriously I told hubby she treats me nicer than he did! My hubby said, "That's not even normal, you should be wary of her, she may have an agenda." Too bad I didnt listen to him that time.

8) she acts like super close to you, tells everyone you 2 are the best of friends(but actually you 2 are merely OK friends), THEN they will "pretentiously leak" UNTRUE secrets of yours that make people dislike you. They are very smart and will blend half truths in it to make it seem real.

For example, sometimes my guy friends lombang(fetched) me home by cab because they stay on the way and they are gentlemen. There, this bitch told everyone I go HOME with different guy every night. Knnbccb....Yeah I know it's YOUR WISH to go HOME with every different GUY. I've no such aspiration like yours. Before that I was very close with her and sometimes I told her who I'm meeting that night. Immediately after telling her, she will spreadddd out to the entire world "Oh Titien met X for drinks and they just went home together liao. Dont know do what....heehee".

I only know YEARS later after our mutual guy friend told me about it. He was initially closer to her but finds me ke lian(可怜) being victimized for so long then secretly tell me one)

Most people WILL believe because you 2 are close or appears to be close anyway, they will assume you share dark secrets with her and she leaked them. That's why such bitches always treat you super nice and share perhaps "fake" secrets with you so that you will share your stuffs with her(like meet who tonight, dont like who etc), THEN they will spin tales to say "Hey, you know Titien actually dislike you one.....etc" Maybe some are real, but most are fake.

9) Slowly.....if her plan works ...and with you being ignorant about it...the people who were initially your closest friends get closer and closer to her but more and more distant from you day by day....
And usually you cant point a finger to it because there was NOTHING. You dont have any conflicts with your friends at all for ALL THESE MANY YEARS but suddenly there is this tension is in the air. Through time, suddenly your friends will get annoyed/pissed off with you with some little things you said by them overreacting or being too sensitive or whatsover. You cant even explain it, it's like, they just buay song you for nothing. It's just like how 黄嫊芳 mentioned how the people at her workplace SUDDENLY gets annoyed/pissed off with her when it has all along been well before the "nice bitch" comes into the picture.

10) The 10th sign and the very last symptom which showed that the "very nice" bitch had SUCCEEDED and you're DOOMED is WHEN:

Your group goes out with her without asking you to join. Nobody says anything, nobody mentions anything, YOU ARE CLUELESS.

That means, she's ready to break off this "bridge" of yours as she had probably leeched onto "another bridge" a.k.a your other friends, in the group.

Ok that's it, you're gone. Bye bye. My condolences to you. I feel you. I totally understand.



Actually, I'm not entirely clueless that some bitches are merely using me. But I thought it's okie to introduce them my friends since well, we can all hangout and have fun together. So I'm totally fine with it because I have no qualms about match-making my friends; I'm NOT a sucker for ATTENTION. I'm fine with prettier girls joining the group. But I was so wrong. Such bitches have NO conscience, they wont be grateful to you for introducing you their friends. In fact they will only try their best to kick you out of the group and to REPLACE you because they are EVIL like this.

If you wanna be TOO NICE like me, you're gonna regret like how I did.

You may think why they wanna do that? They can always stay in the group together with you, and attempt to shine more than you while embracing peace, and you will still stupidly treat her as a good friend because you are so dumb and ignorant of her intentions.

Why the need to KICK you out and repay kindness with evil?

The reason is.....they know they can never outshine you while you're in your group. So they had to take the despicable way to kick you out of it.

Don't be afraid of the bitch who screams or throws water at you, be afraid of the one who smiles at you.

Your sharing of experiences are welcome.

Sometimes it's not all about looks.

You know, I think the best time for me to blog when I'm half sober, and of course, when I feel no one is watching.

Previously I met a group of girlfriends whom I dont meet that much. And well, this group is more of the intellectual kind who talk about cars la, property la, career la etc. While I'm not very bothered by such stuff, because basically,

property? I dont know much, my hubby takes care of it.
Car? Ok I got one which is running.
Career? I got the sameeee one which has been running for more than 10 years. Imagine the sickness...

So I'm pretty ok with it.

But the thing lies with...whenever 1 became toooooo interested in the ....say...bag I'm carrying...(property or car doesnt change that fast)...I became very...embarrassingly uneasy. So the meeting went planned at XXX place and I was running late! So I grabbed the bag I was last using, checked the impulse to wear my beloved ring which my hubby gave me recently and rushed out of the house.

In the group of 4, 1 was openly admiring my bag while I was admiring hers..while the other 2 remained pretty silent.

Expected.

Thank god I didnt wear my ring.

It wasnt over 1 carat or anything, it was merely a small token from my hubby YEARS AFTER we are married! Till now, I still dont understand why. It's not as if I'm the type who will refuse his proposal if the diamond is less than 1 carat(his was). It really wasnt necessary, but of course I was really touched by his sweet gesture. But, because I care so much about my dear friends' feelings, I deliberately dont wear the ring that I hold dear. Not because of how much it's worth but because of how much those friendships worth to me.

Hubby joked, "Since you cared so much about your friends' feelings, then next time I buy you a cheap one lah."

Lol.

Sometimes I feel life's so hard. So hard for someone who cares more than she should. And because girls are really SUCH a difficult bunch.

Just few days ago, I was complaining to a gf that I was so sick of girls around me who play mindgames, like all the timeeeee. Common, we are not 17 anymore!!! We are like...erm...okie...of mature age. *kekeke* Some of them are married somemore.

I JUST name 1 example.

It has been a long time since our group meet up B(guy) so I message B on a wednesday like "hey are you free this friday? If so, I can jio the others out, like X(girl) and Y(girl) etc."

His reply was "Oh I'm not free coming friday but didnt Y(girl) said we're meeting next friday already?"

I was like thinking...hmmm....Y(girl) didnt mentioned to me at all, but well it's okie, so I replied to B(guy) and said, "Ok nevermind next week see how".

Obviously I didnt receive any messages following the week, I didnt bother much too. I have more than enough friends who love to meet up. Frankly speaking, I already know Y(girl) meant to exclude me from the outing so I'm not one to pursue too much; I'm the kind who will..silently retreat to the dark. HAHAHA.

But coming friday, somehow B(guy) messaged me and asked me if I'm coming. Seriously I told him frankly I received no such invite.

He then told me, " Y(girl) told me that she asked all of you and you all are are busy...so I'm only meeting her alone tonight."

Imagine my response is like HAHAHA please go enjoy your 2 people world, in slightly different words but I told him flatly that Y(girl) did not ask me at all and she probably prefer some ME time with HIM. Kekeke. But B(guy) was like...hey common we all are friends bla bla.

Anyway, I dont care much about it but was merely amused by Y(girl)'s antics. I know we're all friends but well....I dont know WHY she got so particular about meeting B alone OR nOt wanting me to join(she usually include the other girls, just except me). But I was very particular about thwarting Y(girl)'s plans about meeting B alone. I dont like to be a spoilsport.

However, stupid B(guy) went to ask Y(girl) can ask ME along ornot? Y(girl) said yes.
THEN, he told me SHE said YES.

Seriously, how stupid can a guy get???

FAINT!!

OF COZ if you asked her like this, of coz she said YES lah!!

So with that, B began hounding me to join their mini get-together, much to my disgust. I used all sorts of excuses to reject for few hours only to surrender eventually because my heart is so soft.

Despite so, I purposely reached 1.5hrs LATER(I'm usually punctual OK!) just because I wanna give THEM PRIVATE time. HAHAHA!


So..it was expected that when I arrived, Y(girl) said "Aiyoooo pleaseee lah, dont be sooo sensitive cannnn...I was really busy so I didnt really jio everybody etc".

But well....we...listen 就好 okie.

So I was telling my gf this tale and she too agreed this gf got too much 心机。

I thought she was soooo understanding.

Suddenly in the midst of our chill out, she said wanna take a picture. I was like okie sure, although I wasnt really into taking pics being camara-shy, but I thought well maybe she is very satisfied with her extensive plastic surgery in Korea and wanted to take pics together. As much as I'm soooo much far more inferior...sigh......I obliged. Friendship is meant more than that right?

After she took the pic, I glanced at it and asked her to send me. I was checking my whatsapp and FB stuff for like a good 5minutes and I still didnt receive that only picture. I became bored as she was super engrossed with her hp. Only then did I ask her, "You sent already? Didnt receive anything leh." She said, "Wait"

Naturally I was puzzled as it was really a long while, "Are you sending?". Finally cant restraint my curiosity and leaned over to peep.

She was editing (only)herself in our picture with some beauty app.

I was like "Oh common.....". She became slightly paiseh and said lately her skin had been acting up and she usually looked better in selfies and bla bla bla.

After awhile, she sent me our picture. Zzz.

She is reallyyyyy very pretty already, ESPECIALLY after her plastic surgery, really dont get what's her point. I'm no where being pretty, I think it's just her sense of security.

But seriously, I'm really SO SICK of all the girls' 心机, about who is more well-liked, who is more popular, who is prettier etc. Moreover, I've never intended to post the pictures as I dont like to post pictures of me drinking on my FB. She on the other hand, asked me if she can post the edited picture as she finds me "quite pretty" in that edited picture.

I was like rolling my eyes.

Frankly speaking, arent you living a tad too tiring if you always care about looking prettier than your friends etc? If I AM, I would have committed suicide a long time ago. I have super gorgeous friends, somehow. Maybe opposites attract or I give them tons of confidence. HAHAHA!!

Anyway, now I merely stick to my own types, who dont care about all these. Frankly, really a handful.


It's kinda ridiculous I'm always embroiled into such complications all the time.


These girls have to understand, sometimes it's not all about looks in life.

8 Important Reasons To Let Go Of People

http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/8-important-reasons-let-go-people-longer-play-important-part-life/650186/#

8 Important Reasons To Let Go Of People Who No Longer Play An Important Part In Your Life

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Alyssa Ho

in MOTIVATION

Jul 28, 20149:58am

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There comes a point in every person's life when he or she parts ways with someone: ex, friend and anyone in between.

Upon first meeting this person, there's a sweet beginning, but once you come to really know each other and grow comfortable, you suddenly realize that the relationship no longer brings any particular value to your life and is perhaps, even detrimental.

Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people together, but if you feel as though there's nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that's simply no longer worth holding onto.

We grow complacent with people once we're comfortable with them. But, hanging onto someone for the pure sake of it and because you don't know anything else isn't a good enough reason.

Fear is another reason why we can't move on. There's the fear of being alone and not being able to find someone else; fear of someone using our deepest and darkest secrets as blackmail; fear of the hate and tension that will ensue; fear of regret once someone is gone.

Sometimes, things are better left as mere memories. You can try to change things back to how they were or try to create things to be the way you want them, but you'll never be truly happy because it'll never be anything like how things once were.

If anything, there's now too much pressure and expectation in the air to recreate what you both once had. Instead, hold on to and cherish the memories, but move forward. Be thankful for what a friendship or relationship brought you and taught you.

Beyond that, friendships and relationships — whilst they do have their downfalls and can require fixing — should essentially come naturally.

If a person isn't bringing something significant to your life, not treating you how you'd like or isn't the type of person you want him or her to be, it's a clear sign that you need distance.

While it would be selfish of you to not accept a person for whom he or she is, it would be unfair for you to have to endure a friendship or relationship that isn't cultivating a better you.

Now that we have come to ascertain why you may be holding on, let's make it clear why you need to let go:

1. Let go because things are not the same anymore.

People simply grow a part, which is perfectly normal. You realize you want different things, no longer share the same interests, no longer understand and no longer connect.

Sometimes, it's a matter of accepting that it takes time to let go, rather than holding on to something that just can't be brought back, was lost a long time ago or perhaps, was never really there at all.

It's difficult to hold on to people in life, but remember that you're destined to meet different people along your journey who will bring you happiness, sorrow, pain and joy.

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2. Let go because the trust and loyalty isn't there.

If you know in your heart that you can't trust this person and he or she cannot be loyal, then you need to ask yourself why this person is in your life. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship.

If they're not present, it may only lead to paranoia, frustration, tension and anger that you're better off without feeling.

Find someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets and you know that after walking away, his or her lips will remain tightly sealed. Find someone whose faithfulness to you will be unquestionable because his or her actions, rather than empty promises, bring you a peace of mind.

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3. Let go because you are unclear of where things stand.

Engaging in an undefined friendship or relationship is confusing because you don't know what you mean to the person, if anything at all. If the person can't make you feel as though you're significant, reflect on why you're allowing someone to treat this way.

Be in the company of someone who is proud to have you in his or her life and will make that known to you and the rest of the world. Be in the company of someone who won't gamble with your heart and mind simply because he or she knows you're not going anywhere.

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4. Let go if the friendship or relationship is damaging to you.

If the friendship/relationship is making you unhappy or miserable, it's time to bid the person farewell. We must not allow ourselves to feel trapped and used to being treated far less well than we deserve.

If someone is putting you down, competing with you, not paying attention to you, not caring about you, abusing you, embarrassing you in front of others, making you question yourself, belittling you or simply just not caring about you, remove the negativity from your life as soon as possible. Respect yourself enough to be able to walk away.

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5. Let go if you simply don't see eye to eye.

It is hard to make a relationship work if you can't ever agree or see each other's points of view. If the one thing you can agree on is that neither of you can agree, it might be time to walk away.

In many friendships and relationships, people come together through unlikely chances, through their differences and lack of similarities. Therefore, it can work, but if you find that it's a significant source of many of your disputes and tensions, get out now.

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6. Let go if you're the one fighting to make it work.

If your relationship makes you feel as though you're the only one putting in effort, time and love, reflect on whether or not it's worth it. If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.

Find someone who makes you feel worthwhile and worthy. Find someone who fights to have you in his or her life. Find someone who knows how lucky he or she is to have you.

Find someone who acknowledges everything you have done and will do. Don't waste your time on anything less.

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7. Let go if he or she doesn't encourage you or believe in you.

If you find that your relationship isn't providing you with support, reflect on what the person is providing. You deserve someone who will be there to encourage you throughout your journey and believe in you maybe even more than you believe in yourself.

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8. Let go if the relationship isn't bringing you what you want and need.

Ask yourself whether you can do without the relationship or whether it's something you unquestionably want and deserve. Sometimes, there's this belief that we can be “too fussy” with what we want from others in life, but then again, why should we settle for anything less than happiness?

Don't ever allow someone to make you feel needy for wanting someone who will love, care and support you, someone who will listen and give you insightful advice, someone who wants the same things, someone you can trust and will be loyal to you, someone who believes so strongly in you and your capabilities. Just someone who makes you feel like you're someone.

What the hell is happening in S'pore.....

5 killings in 2 weeks in S'pore

http://www.stomp.com.sg/singapore-seen/singapore/5-killings-2-weeks-spore-police-say-offenders-will-face-full-brunt-law#xtor=CS1-2

Seriously, dont know what Singapore is coming to manzz. And these are only the straight-forward murders. 

We haven include the fucking bitch who tortured her baby boy daniel together with her boyfriend till he died, 

AND the inhumane son who raped his own biological mother and said he liked it. 

AND the former lifeguard who raped a drunk chic OPENLY at a beach in Sentosa. 

And coincidentally....all the last 3 crimes were committed by Malays. I mean, it's really SO stupid lah especially for the last 2. You know you only get few weeks/months jail if you accidentally injured or killed someone on the road but you get 10 to 20years of jail and caning for rape in Singapore.

For that few minutes of pleasure? Not worth it lah. 

And the 1st 2 crimes, I totally cant understand how can these people do something so inhumane. 

I've realized a pattern too.

SOME Chinese torture their maids.

SOME Malays torture their kids.

SOME Indian(men) torture(kind of) their wives (beat up their wives after drinking)

We humans are so sick. Zzzz.

But speaking of Chinese, SOME Chinese uncles are so law-abiding UNTIL they stupidly believe true love exists between themselves and foreign chics 20years younger than them, stupidly go into fights because of some KTV pub hostesses and then get themselves killed OR ELSE kill someone thus spend the rest of their lives squatting in prisons. Some got conned of both their feelings and all their retirement money, then they get angry and kill their PRC mistresses/gfs instead. 

I've heard 1 account before of a Chinese uncle who got his entire savings conned by a PRC ktv hostess before and he said he had no regrets because he had never felt so loved and being treated so well by a lady before.

That's so sad. 

Maybe I cant understand how it is to be alone for a long time without being loved. So maybe my perspectives and principles can never be the same as these uncles who are desperately looking for love. For me, IF I know that this love is bought by money, I'll rather not have it. 

Why, this world is so beautiful, with or without money.

Alot of things in life are free. Like families and friends. Good food and comedies online dont cost much too. If you're bored, message me, I can intro you tons of funny online variety shows or dramas if you're the shy type who always hang around at home. And I think I dont have to rave about Sg's hawker food like bah kut teh, chicken rice, wanton mee etc. You should know how yummy they are and they dont cost alot too.

Really, you dont need ALOT of money to be happy. You also dont need LOVE to be happy because there are also other things in life. I can chitchat with my friends for hours at McCafe or laughed for hours playing silly games in the pub while just ordering 1 or 2 jugs of beer(on a small chill night). Can sing for free somemore. Sometimes when we're busy with our family commitments and too tired/lazy to go out, I can whatsapp with a single friend OR group whatsapp with my friends for hours until my fingers almost 抽经。If you dont wish to spend money, buy a couple of beer/wine from NTUC, go to your friend's house and drink the night away. Can go east coast beach too if you're really onz and stay till you see the sunrise and then go home in the morning. Cycle, swim etc. Or if you're into gaming, go friend's house to play playstation or mahjong with friends with small stakes like 20ct or something. Small small gamble. Or go JB eat seafood dinner. Oh manz, so many things to do. 

Not surprisingly, I heard many Sg males either hint or complain frankly that Sg girls are very difficult to woo because they are materialistic. Sigh I've said umpteen times that yes SOME Sg girls are like that and MOST certainly are NOT. If they are, seriously, my close girlfriends wont continuously get hurt by lousy guys who are not richer than them.

You know guys are so funny. Always finding excuses.

The rich ones(and maybe not so good-looking ones) complain Sg girls like handsome ones.

Then the handsome ones(and maybe not so rich ones) complain Sg girls like rich ones.

Of course they will ALWAYS be girls who ONLY like handsome ones and girls who ONLY like rich ones. JUST LIKE there will ALWAYS be guys who ONLY like the young pretty ones OR the ones with great figure. But I think they're only a handful. I believe most still look at "feelings" and whether can click or not. Most Sg girls are just looking someone who can make them laugh, loyal and committed to them and more importantly, willing to marry them. The moment they left the unstable and flirty boyfriends(after like so many years), immediately they found guys who are stable and eventually settle down and get married. Females are ultimately females. They are just waiting for the bf to marry them but sadly most of the flirty ones(below 35) are just not willing to settle down. And these guys usually dont earn much but are fun-loving and not bad-looking. But well you know looks will fade. It's like that de lah. Also have some girls who are choosy when they're young. All same same.

So well, these guys and girls have to find each other then there will be happy ending. :)

In short, guys and girls can never be equal. 

Guys' confidence comes with wealth and girls' confidence comes with youth. 

If a guy dont do well in their career or earnings stay stagnant, their confidence drops with their advancing age. And most are super duper egoistic if they earn well, no matter how fat or ugly or haolian they are. Dont ask me why, they just behave like that. 

On the other hand, girls' confidence simply drop with age, no matter how much they earn, no matter how good they look. I know why, because guys are superficial....my poor single colleague kept getting jibes from male colleagues like every few days just because she is single at 30plus. 

A group of us were celebrating a guyfriend's birthday at a club so somehow we got to meet/see some mutual friends. So the birthday boy was asking our single guy friend what he thinks of the other group of single ladies who dressed very slinky. He only mentioned one word, "老lo"

Sigh..............Girls' values dropped with their age no matter how much they earn or how wonderful their personalities are because most guys are just superficial. For most single guys above 40, they rather pick young foreign girls who are after their money instead of an Sg girl who is nearer their age. 

Are Sg girls picky? Not at all. But of course, I think expecting the bf to hold a decent job is not asking for too much bah. Not an unemployed who is shaking legs at home lo. Fair enough right~

Si gin na

I saw this article in my facebook feed because a few friends had "LIKE" this article. Usually I wouldnt have read such articles but the "broke my toddler's heart"(sounds rather sad/serious) caught my attention so I took around few minutes to quick read the whole article.

http://timothytiah.com/2016/06/25/how-being-distracted-by-my-phone-broke-my-toddlers-heart/

HOW BEING DISTRACTED BY MY PHONE BROKE MY TODDLER’S HEART

Posted On June 25, 2016 Admin

 47.9K

My wife has been away for a well deserved holiday in Croatia now with Xiaxue and the gang. So I’ve spent the past week with both my kids and what I thought might have been a really stressful week turned out to be a very fulfilling one.

You see when my wife is around both kids go to mommy for everything. Sometimes when I want to do something with them like put them to bed or feed them, they go “No no I want mommy”. So naturally when Shorty left she was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to cope and that I was going to be really busy with them.

She was right about the latter, but I ended coping just fine with the help of my parents and in-laws. Yes I was really busy but the one big reward is that I became the new “mommy”. Fighter and Penny came to me whenever they wanted anything and I had a glimpse of what it’s like to be their “everything”. Being their everything felt like a great power!

They say with great power comes great responsibility, and one night I took that great power for granted.

We were having dinner in Precinct 10 when Fighter asked me to take him for a walk so I obliged. We were having a great time just father and son, walking around the shops, him pointing out at everything he saw and asking me what it was.

Then I remembered something. That I had to make a call. I told Fighter that Daddy had to make a phone call and he played around by taking my phone from me and asking that he speak to that person instead of me. After fooling around for a minute I got on the phone and started talking.

In the background Fighter was walking around me, asking me things but I wasn’t present. I was focused on my phone call and totally ignoring him as he asked me everything. The phone call took no longer than 2 minutes, but 2 minutes was all it needed to break his heart.

In that 2 minutes, Fighter realized what was going on. He was being ignored. Even though I was physically there in front of him, I really wasn’t there at all. That we were sharing this great moment together and I ruined it by picking up my phone.

At first he shouted in frustration and swung his hands in the air and then finally he kneeled on to the ground with his head down.

I hung up and I asked him

“Fighter do you want to go for a walk now?”

He ignored me.

“Fighter do you want go see some things?”.

He ignored me.

I came closer to him and asked
“Fighter are you ok?”.

At this point he said
“I want to be alone”.

A part of me was surprised that he now knew the concept of being alone but seeing him on the ground like this was heartbreaking. So I took a moment to take this picture to remind myself how painful it was to see him like that.

I came closer to him only to be stopped by him as he said
“DADDY GO AWAY! I DON’T WANT DADDY!”.

I said okay okay and I took a few steps back.

It wasn’t good enough.
“DADDY GO AWAY !!”.

I then reasoned with him
“Daddy can’t go any further. If I go away then someone might come and take you away from me”.

I don’t know what triggered it but he then broke out into tears and came to hug my leg. I carried him as he let out a cry. Not the spoilt cry that he would give when he wanted something that we wouldn’t give him. This cry was the cry of heartbreak.

I knew then that I had let my phone ruin the great moment I was having with my son.

I apologized a thousand times as I hugged and kissed him. Then I took him for a walk.

We came across this empty seating area that had a big projector screen showing some tennis match. We walked up close to the screen as Fighter admired how big the people on the screen were.

Then I had an idea. Something I had done as a child.

While carrying him on my arm I raised my other hand and made a dog shaped shadow against the projector light. Cue the barking sounds.

For the first time since the crying, Fighter laughed and raised his own tiny fist to try to mimic my dog. Instead the shadow turned out to look like a tiny rock. It didn’t matter to him. To him that rock was a dog and our two rock and dog shadows were fighting on the wall with sound effects that would make Quentin Tarantino proud.

At that moment my phone vibrated from messages that I was getting. It was vibrating a lot too so it felt like I was getting a lot of messages. Maybe it was important.

I was going to reach for my phone when I stopped myself. If I picked up my phone again I would once again ruin this moment with my son. Instead I ignored it and spent 100% of my attention and focus on my son.

As I put Fighter to bed that night he was happy and smiling.

I once again apologized to him and I made a note to myself not to ever let my phone come in between my kids and I.

Already seeing us with our phones all the time has had some kind of influence on them. Fighter and Penny now both love to carry old phones around with them and pretend to talk on it like we do. Fighter too likes to bring out his tiny laptop and say “I working. Don’t disturb me. I earning money”.

I think it’s impossible to never be on our phones when they’re not around but I think it’s possible and perfectly reasonable to realize when I’m having a moment, and when to not let that moment be ruined by my phone.

The picture I took of Fighter on the floor. That is something that will now serve as a cautionary reminder for me every time I think of ruining a moment.

Ahem, hope you are still here.

JUST a 2 MINUTES phonecall can reduce that kid to such a pathetic state?

Obviously, the post drew adverse opinions.
One side is with me, feeling the over-pampered brat really need some discipline and that the dad is overly indulgent with his kid, making a mountain out of a molehill. Personally I feel as a child, you should respect that your parents, a.k.a the adults have important matters to attend to from time to time. Especially urgent work matters. It's only few minutes, not few hours.

On the other hand, there are some mummies friends who LIKE/SHARE the article with positive comments, agreeing that nothing should ever interrupt the bonding session, not even a 2 minutes phone call. The love they have for their child/children are self-evident, and their amazing loving bond is something which I envy very much.

It's not that I don't agree with loving your kids that much and trying to give them the best you can, all the time. But over pampering your kid is indirectly molding your child to be an ass overtime.

I once watched Anita Yuen (袁咏仪) in a variety show. Anita Yuen is one of my favorite artists because she is also a very "real" and straightforward person, like me. Such people are hard to come by nowadays. So many people hide behind masks in this superficial era. We are quite the same personality, sassy/chillipadi, tom-boyish type, and not the type who will sai-nai or "teh" to guys. Just couldnt stand people who act one type infront of you and be another behind your back.

In the show, she shared in her family of 3, her hubby Chilam Cheung (张智霖) is the Mr Nice Guy (白脸) where their boy, Morton is concerned. And she plays the mean one(黑脸), in charged of discipline. Needless to say, Morton loves his daddy a whole lot more than her mummy. Once, Morton did something wrong and got punished by Anita. Morton ran to daddy and cried. Anita, despite playing the mean one, felt heartache too when she saw Morton crying so she went over to initiate a hug, only to be rejected by Morton who threw her a hateful look.

That rejection hurts SO MUCH that Anita immediately ran into her room and wept in torrents. After which she told Chilam she dont wish to play the mean guy anymore. She also want to be Miss Nice Lady(白脸). She wished to be loved by Morton as much as Morton loves Chilam. Of course Chilam was like, sure sure go ahead.

After Anita's cries subsided, she calmed down, soothed her thoughts and changed her mind. She said if BOTH parents were to continue to over pamper their son and spoil him, unarguably he will become a very egoistic, selfish and irritating man when he grows up. So she just have to play the mean guy. Especially when she feels boys need more discipline than girls because in future, he will start a family and he should learn to be responsible, to support and take care of his loved ones.

You can see here how much a mum is willing to sacrifice, how much a mum is willing to bear the hurt so that her son can become an amazing man in time to come. We do know it's not easy to lecture your kids. 所谓;打在儿身，痛在娘心。But, that is because she gets the point, the logic that 严父出孝子，慈母多败儿 Why some parents still don't get it and continue to spoil their child excessively?

As time goes by, I really feel Singapore kids nowadays are getting more and more pampered as well as sheltered. Why, I saw so many young kids being pushed around in prams with their feet almost touching the floor already. *guffaws* My own younger brother ba-long-long(do nothing) at home for like 3 years before he started finding a job. Till now(he is early 20s now), my mum still serve his meals like a king because she is his favorite(the youngest). But yet he is the least filial. Because he was so spoilt from young, he had problems making friends as well as staying long enough in a job which his ego can allow.

He had always hated me because, you may already have guessed, I couldnt stand the over-pampered brat and lectured him mercilessly. Our father had left us from young, I took over the role to help support the family and somehow, took over the role of 严父 as well since we have a classic example of 慈母多败儿 here. I guess I didnt do a good job after all, with me being the biggest reason(I suck at communication I think), and second reason being I think I started too late. Upbringing need to start from very young. Once a child is spoilt, once over 7 years old, it's very difficult to sway him back because he was used to having his ways for so many years. Of course partly is because he got a 后台 too, my mum.

Despite all these, I still care for him. He kind of suffered depression during the time when he was enlisted for NS. Being a marshmallow boy, he cant endure the hardships. My mum told me he cried every night after back home. He complained about his hand's ache and was constantly afraid of dying in the army. I took him to a specialist, got a medical report which indicated a hairline crack, and requested for a downgrade for him after speaking to his officer for a long time. I dont know whatever you guys call that, simi grade simi grade, but I know he only need to tend the store or something and was excused from training and labour. I thought that should satisfy him.


"Huhhhhhhhhhhh....still have to go ah....can appeal till TOTALLY dont need to go or not?"


"Nabeiiii you think your lao-peh is Lao Lee or Lao Goh huh??" I bellowed.


Not a word of thanks, this Si Gin Na.



The strawberry generation nowadays threw tantrums just because they dont get what they want. Some older kids of teenage years who haven even work long enough to contribute household income can speak rudely to their parents as well(for something very trival).

So how your child turn up to be like depends on your upbringing. If you only have 1 child, it's okie. Just bring him/her to mingle with other kids, like his/her cousins or your friends' kids. Then they can learn to share and be more open to people.