Seriouslyyyyy, I really should be sleeping at this hour! It's 5.49am! But duhz I always have tons of thoughts running about after my drinks and just about when I go to bed. Alright, this will be a super short entry.
Recently, I have been hearing tons of ...kinda breaking news...no matter by ear or through my FB. Forgive me if my sentences arent coherent whatsover, because I'm lazy to check. But ya really, recently all our friends or friends' spouses are having affairs! It's most disconcerting!!
So I'm really feeling bad about my friends' plights. But perhaps I shouldnt talk much about their stuff, However I really wish to address some MISCONCEPTIONS that ladies HAVE with guys!
Of course I cant be 100% correct but hmmm.....based on my happy marriage and many guy friends who are very truthful to me, I guess I have the naked truth, somehow. Side note, I have great friendships with guy friends who are single, attached, married, married with kids, married with kids and mistress etc, SO, while I dont wish to judge much, I kinda know why and how SUCH things happen.
Ok, for a START, we have to clear some misconceptions that ladies have with guys; they only care about LOOKS.
That's really not true. I can assure you I'm probably one of the least good-looking among my group of friends but frankly speaking, I really have many friends falling for me. Which really beats me sometime and they drove some girls to the peak of jealousy. Frankly speaking, I can understand, lol. Because I really do look mediocre. When I was young, I was so inferior that I dont even wish to take pictures with my gorgeous girlfriends because of my inferiority complex, And everytime a mutual guy friend woo me or confess to me, I will always suspect he has other ulterior motives, for e.g, want to borrow money from me or wanna f me etc, HAHAHA, but I realized it's not! It's really about the personality I guess, that they're comfortable with me, happy around me, can talk to me about anything etc. I guess chemistry is hard to explain sometimes but I really feel it's not all about looks.
Alright, of course I meant the majority and not all guys. Some guys do always go for looks. But I feel, so long so you have,,,
1) Reasonable Skin condition/complexion (not too many pimples etc)
2) Reasonable Weight/height (not fat or skinny)
3) Reasonable teeth (not overly protruding)
4) NO bad smell
5) Dress reasonably well with basic makeup
I think you stand absolutely equal chance with people who are gorgeous with no great personality like yours. So hey, if you're not a stunner, we have our market! Woohoo!
But while we're at the topic of personality here, personality is really so important. And of course, the way you carry yourself. Your personal, unique kind of charm or X factor as we called it; which make you irresistible to guys.
I have many friends who really try very hard to get a boyfriend but really, sometimes, the more you try, the more it don't come. And...everytime I see them scaring off potential suitors right infront of me and I think I know exactly why. I'm hardly in the position to comment anything unless I'm super duper close with the girl...as you know, such things are very sensitive.
SO... how to be charming OR how to charm the guy you like
1) Don't be too desperate about guys, or getting attached/hitched
2) Don't be overly flirtatious infront of them, as in flirt with them one second and flirt with another guy right infront of them the next minute. Especially their guy friends.
3) Don't be boastful of how many admirers you have and how guys are crazy about you.
4) Don't be a please-ser or doormat. Have your own views, don't wow at everything he said, and say "anything" to every question
5) Don't express that you're crazy about him even if you are
6) Don't badmouth your mutual friends (if you need too, say super indirectly in a joking tone)
7) Don't go into details about your exes or how you broke up and getting all emotional about it
8) Don't share your work/family/watever problems too excessively that it becomes a tiresome and stressful chore to hangout with you (you can share some but keep it within 10mins and end off naturally)
9) Don't chatter your head off
10) Don't be too quiet/shy either
11) Don't let your guy be the center of your universe; if he doesnt get around to ask you out, you can ask him out too but don't sit around and wait for him to reply/confirm. If he haven confirm after say....3 or 5 hours(depending on how much you like him, haha), please go ahead and make other plans, like meet other friends etc. Even if he after that replied that he can make it, just say you had made other plans already as his reply was very late. And don't ask him out again already until he asks you again. Guys like a challenge, need to bait them sometimes.
12) Don't let the current guy you're seeing right now KNOW that you're meeting OTHER guys right after meeting him. It may be just a supper with another Guy B after movie with Guy A but no.....dont let them know
13) Don't try too hard, in anything. Don't try too hard to impress, whether in dressing, speaking. Just be natural.
14) Don't insists on having answers if he gets evasive about things
15) Don't answer anything he asks - leave some room for mystery
16) Don't be stingy with your charms; Dress nicely according to occasion, draw attention to yourself in a natural way, charm the waiter naturally too(Not any guy who crosses your path, just people whom you need to speak to, like the waiter etc). He'll feel proud to be the one beside you when he sees other guys admiring you.
17) Even if you're aware of the effect you're having on him or other strangers, act as if you don't know.
18) Share happy news. Just anything, even if it's about your friends. It should come naturally though
19) Give constructive comments if he's saying something about his work or problems. Give encouragement.
20) Listen intently. Don't interrupt. No malice or vulgarities.
21) Share positive comments as well as negative comments(in a nice tone and not condescending manner)
22) If you're really interested in Guy A, show slight partiality over him than all the guys. But still be moderately friendly with his friends; you need to blend in without looking as if you may be interested in his friends.
23) If you're not particularly interested in any one guy or you're just "looking over", then be impartial to all, don't show favoritism.
24) Some body contact is okie but make it swift, below 3 seconds, like touching his arm, laying your hand on his thigh, removing a stray strand off his forehead or a lint off his shirt, wiping his sweat off with a tissue etc. Don'ttttt cling to him like a jellyfish or touch all over him as if you're horny.
25) It's generally okie to drink moderately; it loosen your inhibitions but DON'T ever get drunk infront of them
26) Only when you're slightly tipsy, then you can be slightly noti and flirty(don't do it when you're both very sober). Slightly noti as in pinching/touching his nose, face inched closer to him while talking, whisper in his ear/accidentally touching his ears with your lips while whispering, giving sultry stares, pouting your lips, slurring or purring just abit etc... (Fyi...I'm "auto" like this whenever I'm tipsy, I don't purposely become/act like that. Well I guess all tipsy people are like that lah. Zzz anyway)
27) Generally, the more topics you know, the more knowledgeable you are, the quicker your mind turns, the EASIER it is for you to engage conversation with anyone. So read up.
28) Everyone loves a humorous person, I probably can't teach you to be funny and witty...maybe you can try to watch more comedies
29) Express genuine admiration if he really did impress you in some areas but be daring enough to give your side of view if you do not agree on somethings he said. Don't quarrel or insists too much though.
30) Say...if he fetches you home in a cab after some drinks and you're tipsy, you can lean your head against his arm and try to sleep. That's it. Don't do anything else. If he's interested in you, he will lift that arm and slide his arm over your shoulder and let you lie against his chest...hold your hand..and kiss your hair/forehead/lips etc. But please, don't follow him home or let him come to yours if he's not yet your official boyfriend. If he did not do anything then well, move on. If he touches your thigh, SLAP him, THEN move on.
ULTIMATE GOLDEN RULE
Obviously and lastly, don't go to his house and sleep with him UNTIL he's your boyfriend officially. DON'T ever go his house or let him come to yours no matter what reason he claims.
I have a gf who always sleep with the guy she likes on the FIRST date.
She is either - never gets around to become the official girlfriend OR she gets 2-timed eventually in a short period of time OR she gets jilted by the guy.
A guy will assume you're a loose woman and won't treasure you if you sleep with him on the first date.
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